Well, here I am

Yet another guest author joins the ranks of the Hope & Derring-Do writing staff. I'm sure all two of you awesome readers of said blog are shivering with antici.....pation at what crazy, creative, cool, cummerbund-breaking things I'll be talking about but I'm afraid to say that your hopes are probably misplaced. I am a simple 20 year old male of no special importance to the world as of yet so I will not be able to regale you with tales of my many conquests and/or adventures. What I can do for you though, because you are both so excellent in your reading of exceedingly extraordinary, explosively inexplicable, and extremely extrapolated things such as this here blog, I will do what I can to please.

SO ANYWAY.....

I was originally planning on writing an awesome short story for you two but I ended up rearranging my room for a couple hours.....so that plan kinda fell through the floor like a 300 lbs. dude in a bathtub.......but I promise to write one for next Thursday......or at least early Friday morning....like this.

YA

So I'm sick, I'm a horribly mentally deranged paranoid schizophrenic who steals people's rolls of duct tape and I'm completely beyond help and should be put away in an asylum to rot for eternity for my heinous crimes against humanity. Ok, that was a lie, but the sick part was true, and so is duct tape. I caught a cold a couple days ago and I'm only just getting over it. I apologize in advance if anyone gets my cold by reading this post and/or touching this keyboard. I don't even know how I got it.....I remember being out for hours in cold weather and I think I wasn't really dressed for it either.....but I don't see how that could really get me sick....you silly weather man.

Well, the tea helps. Here at the Beautiful People's Society + Norm (also known as Smooch City) we have about 5, 345 tea bags and tea related objects and somewhere in the ballpark of ONE BILLION and two mugs to put the afore mentioned tea into. So basically, all that to say, I'm not really a tea kinda person. It all just taste like hot water to me, but it smells delicious. I tried camomile for the first time since I was a little boy named Christopher Robin in Winnie The Pooh books and it totally knocked me out. I started feeling sleepy and that dastardly tea made me think I could just jump into bed and fall asleep, but little did I know that the horrifying truth would greet me the next morning in the form of my very own face. I had completely forgotten to brush and floss, and I had accidentally left my contacts in so I pretty much looked how I felt, which is to say great....woops, I meant AWFUL AS ALL HELL. So, I'm pretty much going to avoid drinking Camomile for a while but I think I might use it in my totally awesome ninja/spy/lumberjack adventures as a way to knock out guards and such.

ALRIGHTY THEN

If you are starting to wonder why there's a crazy person writing on the blog all of a sudden, that's because IT'S TRUE and I actually judge both of you for not realizing it sooner.

ONWARDS TO BUSINESS TIME

That's right kids, it's time to get a little more serious, which is entirely impossible because I've been WAY TOO SERIOUS up until this point.

I'm currently over 2 months into living here in beautiful Montreal, inside what is literally the best and most affordable apartment 4 people could ever get in the history of cake, and I still haven't found a job. I know, right? That's totally what I was thinking. Well....I don't know if I'd go that far.....geez.

Anywhat, I'm currently looking for employment as a road warrior/total badass a.k.a. a bike messenger. I've been reading up and I have the utmost respect for the people who do the job and I know how much I would love it and how good I would be at it. I don't quite have all the right equipment yet but I know that I could work my way to being an excellent bike courier. I definitely have experience in the area. During the summer of 2008, from early June to September, I worked at a farm supply/animal feed/almost everything you could possibly think of related to farms store which was - and still is - owned by my uncle Thom. That job was a pretty amazing opportunity and I'm quite grateful for it. I used to live in Ottawa see, and this job was out in Metcalfe (which is technically part of Ottawa but the people who live there don't want to be), check it out bro, it's like 26 km away from where I lived and I had to bike it, every day, there in the morning, back in the evening. Ya, I know. Most of the time without a helmet, biking on a rural highway that doesn't have a shoulder and being almost run over by 18 wheelers day in and day out. And in between those epic biking excursions, I worked for 8 & 1/2 hours running the store completely on my own, which included a lot of physical labour for receiving shipments of feed and grains and stuff as well as moving it for the customers, and these bags ranged from 50 - 100 lbs most of the time, and I had to carry - on average - something like 30-50 of them per day as well as doing all the other duties required for running a store. So that was a cool job, at first it was hard as hell and the scrawny little 17 year old I was at the time didn't really know what to do for the first week or two, but once I got the hang of it I was completely autonomous and totally freaking awesome. So I'm used to physical labour and I think I'm still in relatively good shape.....ladies *wink*

And I'm definitely good with the autonomy thing (I would say independence is my middle name, if my middle name wasn't already Total Social Outcast) and I love biking with a passion because of the freedom, the exercise and the fun of it, so why don't I have a job yet? I don't totally know.....well actually I know exactly why....it's because I'm lazy, and I have no drive to succeed....or so I'm led to believe by my room-mates. It's more just that I've been at this "looking for a job" thing for a month or two and I'm getting really tired, somewhat grumpy, and frankly pretty pissed off at not succeeding. I've also been wanting to get more serious about music, acting, writing etc. (basically anything creative I've every dabbled in) since I'm in Montreal which is a great place for that kind of thing but that kind of stuff requires a job to keep you afloat so you can work on you real dreams on the side.

The part that gets me is that I would have had a job back in Ottawa months ago if I had stayed, I never had a problem getting a job there, but now it's been so long and I'm kind of losing hope......and money of course.
Generally, I'm not the guy who has to borrow money , I'm the guy who lends it. I get the feeling that this all might be a sign that I shouldn't be here in the first place, but I am here, I made the decision to move out when I did, I made the decision to go to Montreal with one of my best friends and I can't regret any of that. It would be pointless to dwell on those decisions because whether they were bad or good decisions for me and my future, they got me to where I am today, and I love this apartment, I like having room-mates who I'm slowly getting to know more and more. I have to make the best of this situation or it will fall apart, so I need a job. I just wish it was easier.

THAT'S LIFE

That's what you have to accept sometimes is that you don't end up where you expected, you don't get everything you want or that you need, and you don't always succeed. And frankly, I wouldn't change it, I'm glad to live and grateful for the life I have lived so far, but just like any of the other 6 billion people on this crazy, spinning, blue and green rock floating in space, I'm human.

So Thanks For Reading, If You Did Read All That
And I'll Be Back Next Thursday, Most Likely With Something A Little More Coherent
And Less "Stream Of Consciousness"

I'd Like To Thank Lee, For Allowing Me To Ramble On About Random Stuff On His Blog

'Til Next Time

This has been Norm a.k.a Stormin' Norman a.k.a. Norman Rockwell a.k.a. Sam a.k.a. That Guy Who I Totally Don't Remember Being At That Place Last Week Where We Were All Hanging Out And Having An Awesome Time