It seems like I'm alternating months around here. Tight, I can deal with that. Well, maybe, maybe not, y'know, I play it by ear, because I'm down like 'dat.
I've been thinking about ideals and morality and all that fly-ass shit. For a long time, I have been pro-gay community. It's just to be expected, I come from an arts high school, after all. In my personal strand, 40% of the guys were gay and I think one was asexual, I was never exactly sure. Anyways, point is, I'm down with the gays, still am, they're just people, know what I mean? Anyways, since I got to university, a lot of my friends are from the mid-east, and not to say all mid-easters are intolerant to gay people, but my personal experience points to yes, they are. My problem with all of this, besides their perspective being what I consider disgusting and backwards, they're basically good guys. They pay for drinks, they play videogames, they bullshit with each other. And I can't reconcile these differences in my head. I can disagree with them, but the arguments go nowhere, because I don't understand them, and they don't understand me. I can't just cut them out of my life, because they're always at my apartment, and it would be terribly damaging to my happiness if I did that, because, as I said, they're basically good guys.
So what do I do? I can't just keep quiet, but I can't argue about it, either. The debates go nowhere and piss me off. And this sort of bred-in-the-bones thinking cannot keep on going on. If I was really a good person, if I stood up for what I believe in, then I would convince them, or at least teach them tolerance, so they pass tolerance onto their kids. Because I honestly think we need this equality, I don't see how the world can keep on going while this sort of intolerance is occurring.
I don't know, part of me wants to get pissed off and righteous about these causes, but another part of me is just telling that part to chill. Because heres the deal: I don't want to save the world. It'd be cool if I could help, and I think the world does need saving, but I don't want to go on a one-man crusade to fix everything. Or maybe I do, fuck, I don't know, it's 2:20 in the morning and I have an essay due tomorrow and I want to simultaneously do and not do everything in the world. Tonight I was talking to my girl, and she wants to live big, to have glory and recognition. But she also wants to live in a small town in Italy. I don't know, we all have contradictions. Glaring contradictions.
As I said, it'd be great if I could help, though.
Oh, and hourly haiku are happening again. Hopefully for a long time.
-Lee Molnar
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